Apples And Oranges

Saftsuze > Salutations!
Badjurk Espressoh > Why the fuck did you do that for?
Saftsuze > To get your stuff and to see a big explosion!
Badjurk Espressoh > Yeah, because I had a lot of stuff, huh?
Saftsuze > Maybe not a lot, but it all adds up.
Badjurk Espressoh > Not a lot? I had none!
Saftsuze > Strip Miner I - this module I just got from you.
Badjurk Espressoh > Yeah, and you just cost me about 30 million ISK.
Saftsuze > And you just made me a couple of millions and got to see an explosion!
Badjurk Espressoh > Yes, and you're a dick.

Saftsuze > Oh no, I am most certainly not a dick, I am a most handsome pirate.
Saftsuze > I do have a dick, though.
Badjurk Espressoh > No, you are a dick. You make people lose all their stuff without checking what they even have, just for a couple of ISK. Three million ISK is one mining run. Go do some factional warfare if you're such a handsome pirate.
Saftsuze > Why on Luminaire would i do that?
Badjurk Espressoh > Because people there can actually fight back.
Saftsuze > But I like explosions and other peoples stuff!
Badjurk Espressoh > Yes. That means you're a dick.

Saftsuze > No, a dick is used for sex and urinating, and I am exploding and stealing.
Saftsuze > Oh. You have left me.
Saftsuze > I am all alone.

* Log slightly edited for your reading pleasure. No change of meaning and content.

I've Caught A Nasty Cough

My moustache was smoother than in a long time. I was in a fresh clone, straight from the clone vat showers. Those damn R1FTA-mates had brought me and my Gistii-afterburner-fitted Comet into a slaughter of an engagement that obviously was heavily depending on having a microwarpdrive fitted. So, I was left in a low security system far from home and with no ship wrapped around my pod. I took the expressway back home by self destructing my capsule. Hence, my fresh and smooth moustache. Yeah, I was feeling sexy.

But these days, feeling confident ain’t enough. The moment I see the factional control level in my solar system report, I get sick and want to dock up and cry into my pillow. So, today I avoided the war zone completely and turned my ship towards a former favourite pocket of mine: Atlulle.

And finally magic happened. There it was. The sight that makes a solo frigate fighter ecstatic: Another frigate. In a belt. It was a Retribution. I was in a Firetail. It was time to have some shooting time. Among rocks! What a refreshing feeling it was.

I warped in with preheated guns, afterburner, scrambler and web, but landed 30 km off him. And he had a microwarpdrive fitted.

Spiritenzo > You're in a firetail
Spiritenzo > and you could not catch me?

I warped off to a planet in order to warp back to belt at range. He followed. I warped back to belt, he followed. I repeated. He repeated. We both finally landed in the belt again. He burned out of range. And just couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

Spiritenzo > *cough* too slow

I kept my cool. I mean, I was obviously hotter than this bearded bastard, but I was concentrating on spatial awareness as the pros call it. I kept following him at slow speed. Cocky pilots do stupid things. Trust me, I have experience. And just as predicted: He started closing in on me again. I preheated the mid rack and approached him slowly, then at 20 km I hit the afterburner and burned! 17! 16! 15! 14! 13 km! Activate web! Spam scram! Spam scram!

He stopped coughing.

Saftsuze > *cough* someone needs to cut down on talk, and walk the walk

A Harpy showed up on scan. I grabbed the loot and warped off. I walk the walk in a running fashion when backup arrives.

Spiritenzo > I was orbiting the BS you when you caught me
Spiritenzo > I was not even trying to get away

Saftsuze > *cough*