Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The New Star of New Eden

There is a new bright star in New Eden. I found this story in a big black skill book from the Gideon Corporation that was laying in my Captain's Quarter:

The Third Account

In those days Caesar Mittani issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire New Eden Cluster. This was the first census that took place while a Goon was governor of Deklein. And everyone went to their own starting system to register.

So Joseph Capbuilder also jumped up from the system of Nazhgete in Derelik to Tash-Murkon Prime, because he belonged to the house and line of Tash-Murkon. He went there to register with Mary Hauler, who was pledged to be his alt and was expecting a noob. While they were there, the time came for the noob to leave the clone vat, and she gave 10 million ISK to the third alt, a son. She installed some learning implants in him and placed him in a separate Captain’s Quarter, because there was no room available for more than one capsuleer in each Captain’s Quarter.

And there were some miners living out in the asteroid fields nearby, keeping watch over their precious rocks all night. An Angel of the Cartel appeared to them, and the glory of the Cartel shone around them, and they were terrified. But the Angel Cartel Commander said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the capsuleers. Today in the star system of Tash-Murkon Prime a Noob has been born to you; he is The Third Account, a saviour of CCP. This will be a sign to you: You will find a noob boarded in his noobship and ship spinning in a hangar.”

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the Angel Cartel Commander, praising CCP and saying,

“Glory to CCP in the highest north, and in New Eden peace to those on whom their favor rests.”

When the Angels had left them and warped into space, the miners said to one another, “Let’s go to Tash-Murkon Prime and see this thing that has happened, which CCP has told us about.”

So they hurried off and found Mary Hauler and Joseph Capbuilder, and The Third Acount, a noob, who was ship spining in the hangar. When they had seen him, they spammed all open chat channels concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who read it LOLed and WTFed at what the miners said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in one of her jumpclones. The miners returned, glorifying and praising CCP for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Men Who Stare at Boats

The Upper Lip Finesse new elite group of New Age Warriors has been formed. They, well, I, spend an enormous amount of time just meditating in deep wormhole space. I am trying to focus all the energy in the universe to create that perfect moment in space and time where a stealth bomber gets to uncloak and launch it’s torpedoes at a viable target. In order to do this, a lot of time has to be spent levitating above enemy starbases staring at other space ships. Sometimes I feel they can feel me being there.

My mental powers trying to slip through the POS shields.
And this transcendental strategy is paying off. The first wreckages from mental and torpedo power have already (well, “already” is of course a relative term in transcendental practice) been achieved. Although I have yet to make the enemy explode from my thoughts alone, I am certain I will reach that point one day. Because, as I said, I feel that they can feel me staring at them. And when you feel something strong enough it will start to hurt.

Today Upper Lip Finesse awarded me the Bad Boy Space Buddha medal for excellence in the New Age Warrior service: “Awarded for extensive period of cloaked meditation in deep transcendental wormhole space resulting in glorious and explosive enlightenment of other ship.”

OK, I admit it, I took some time off from the meditation to create a medal. 

Hm. Maybe I’ll make another one as well? Then get back to meditation? 

Yeah, just one more.

Space Buddha out.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Sneaking Pirate, Hidden Moustache

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
The mind is everything.
What we think we become.
a terran thinker called Buddha
It is something I have tried to do a lot of times. But my patience was never there. The adrenaline junkie always craving action. Always warping to the next possible kill. Always roaming. Constant movement.

Now I am still. I am quiet. I am contemplating and observing. I am learning. I am chasing while sitting still, I am moving without effort.

Among Sleepers I shall be the awaken one.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The Criminal Comeback Timer

The last post I wrote before I unplugged from my pod for an extended planetary vacation was about patience. I feel it is a very relevant read as I am now returning to the New Eden space lanes.

I am trying to take it slow. Not to burn the candle in both ends - or dual prop as we capsuleers call it. I spend more time ordering my associates around. Making an effort to get a feel for all the aspects of capsuleer life. I have also moved all my associates into low security space. My uncle Earl is busy shutting down his shop in Aeschee and my more clandestine industrial organisation started the low sec move over a year ago. Inspired by my CSM representative, Sugar Kyle, I have embraced the low sec lifestyle for all my pilots. But all in slow motion. There is no rush.

I have liquefied my assets and I am in the process of training up for more jump clones. A big shout out to Suleiman Shouaa's jump clone service in Hevrice. A great place to reinvent yourself when flashing red without any standings to speak of. The plan now, is to operate from one location and only buy a few ships and fittings every time the hangar is empty.  New Eden is changing faster than ever and almost 90 percent of my ships was utterly useless when I came back. Hence the liquefying process.

There are interesting events in low security space as well. With the very profitable Mordus Legion lurking combined with the security tag carrying clone ships, there should be more bounty hunters scouring the belts. I know I will spend more time in belts. And one of my associates have already lost a ship to the Legion. Fascinating. I almost got the shakes from that experience. With a belt rat!
Some colleagues have also reported that the militia pilots have hardened up and swapped the warp core stabs with damage upgrades. And it seems so, as I have had a few good fights in factional warfare space as well the last few months. Although, I still prefer the untainted free-of-politics-low-sec-space.I feel there is more potential for adventure there. Like finding a stranded whale. Or kill Santha! Hunt down a battle sheep. Make a shake. Have some sexytime.

Well. Finding adventure takes time. Be patient and there might come a new tale from the travelling moustache wax salesman.