The Stranded Whale

The most common species to mass strand are pilot whales. Potillot Mumnier, researcher at University of Caille, says until more research is done on the behaviour of pilot whales before and after stranding, these events are likely to remain a mystery. "It is an enigma. This is the word that best describes it," says Mumnier.

Clipping from Journal of Temperate Planet Sealife Research, University of Caille

As I undock from Hulmate station, I have already concluded that the not yet graduated pilot must be somewhere in space, based on the guest registration list in the station. My hunch is, based on this pilot's short history as a capsuleer, that she is in a Venture class mining frigate, trying to grab some jaspet with the false sense of safety this warp core stabilized ship gives inexperienced pilots. Most youngsters don't have enough knowledge about tanking or spaceship physics to actually make good use of their stabilizers, so I often enjoy them as a sort of light snack for my hungry demons. I was expecting such a snack as I undocked.

Huh? No Venture? A Moros? What is a Moros? Is that one of those new specialized haulers? What the hell! It's a dreadnaught? Where is it! Where is it? In a belt? Warp drives active. No. On a gate? Yes! On a hisec gate? Yes! What The Fuck Is Happening Here?

A dread can't jump into hisec. I know that. Hell, can it even use gates? I desperately ask in all my open channels.

I close in, align towards the closest belt, fire a swarm of rockets and warp off as the gate guns start targeting me. I send a blessing to those who managed to hack CONCORD's central memory system so that gates now forget your most recent transgressions. I land among the asteroids, turn my Kestrel around and initiate warp at once. I am shaking. I ready my emergency call in all the pirate channels as I am in warp back to the gate: “Moros tackled on Deninard gate in Hulmate! Need more damage!”. Locked. Scrammed. YES! Scramble your spaceships, fellow pirates! Come to Hulmate!

And vultures start pouring into system. They all want a piece of this stranded whale. At a hisec beach, caught in a lowsec surf. Not able to swim or dive. Slowly dying from the scavengers thousand bites.

And we all wonder why. Why? It is an enigma.

Then we all leave in peace. Our demons have feasted on the carcass of a stranded whale. They will be satisfied for days now.

Footnotes:

1) A look at the official report of the incident reveals that I could have soloed it. I COULD HAVE SOLOED A DREAD IN A T1 FRIG! If none had interrupted and my associates had brought ammo, that is... What a battle report it would've been! But of course it wouldn't have been possible. I did the right thing, calling for help. I did, didn’t I?

2) A possible theory to why this whale stranded could be the following: A young pilot amass huge amounts of ISK. Either through selling PLEX or from a friend. But she does not acquire the same amount of information on ship classes and abilities. She has many many ISKies, and sees a Moros for sale in Hulmate. This is the most expensive ship she can buy and she rush out from the comfort of hisec to get it. But she wants to get it back to hisec as soon as possible and warp to the gate she came from. That is when she realizes it will not jump through. And that is when I undock. With her head buried in the very complex user manual that is hidden in the Moros glove compartment she suddenly realizes there is a tiny little Kestrel buzzing around her outside. Strange, she thinks, why would such a small and cheap ship attack an expensive giant like me? Then she gets a lesson never to be forgotten. But will she learn from it?