Monday, May 30, 2011

Saftsuze’s Psychiatric Help for Self-Destructive Pilots

Now, some would argue that ratting alone in a battlecruiser - in low security space, with just the very basic skills to even be allowed into the control center of the ship - could be called self-destructive behaviour. I can confirm that this must be the case, as I met such a pilot the other day. He clearly did not want his ship to exist anymore. I offer the following proof: He offered 2,2 million ISK in ransom for his Myrmidon. He self-destructed the ship as it’s hull started disintegrating. I figured he wanted to do the same with his pod, so I helped him. Now he will remain frozen and unable to do more damage to himself - at least that particular clone.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Me? A scammer?! Do I look like one?

Naive Missionrunner > anyone want to make 30 mil for being a courier - 1 jump., 4500 vol?
Local Pirate In Disguise > yeah sure
Local Pirate In Disguise > where are you
Naive Missionrunner > fed mart
Local Pirate In Disguise > come out then
Local Pirate In Disguise > I more an outdoor type
Local Pirate In Disguise > *I am
Naive Missionrunner > the pickup is here
Naive Missionrunner > ill contract privately
Local Pirate In Disguise > ah
Naive Missionrunner > its for a storyline mission
Naive Missionrunner > i have only a shuttle...
Local Pirate In Disguise > you should come out instead
Local Pirate In Disguise > meet Saftsuze
Naive Missionrunner > ok - contracted
Local Pirate In Disguise > I aint pay you 10 mill for some junk
Naive Missionrunner > k - will you accept for 1mil collateral?
Saftsuze > ill take it for 100 000
Local Pirate In Disguise > no
Naive Missionrunner > ok satsuze, ill contract it
Saftsuze > cool
Naive Missionrunner > done
Naive Missionrunner > thx
Saftsuze > now, how much was that stuff worth to you again?
Naive Missionrunner > 30 mil
Local Pirate In Disguise > and this is how it's done
Local Pirate In Disguise > lol
Saftsuze > ok, you can have it back for 30 mill
Naive Missionrunner > no thanks, ill just take your 100k
Saftsuze > ok
Naive Missionrunner > i mean illl just fail the agent mission and wait for it to come back up after a few... i just figured itd be worth 30mil to you
Saftsuze > ah, not really, but it was worth 100k to see what would happen :D
Naive Missionrunner > lol, ok
Saftsuze > now, why dont you undock and fly around and kill some rats?
Naive Missionrunner > Id rather just go back to my system - only here to complete that mission
Naive Missionrunner > came in a shuttle though... thought i could just pay someone to do it
Naive Missionrunner > have a goodun

He never bought it back, allthough the contract offered to him is still valid for another two weeks, so who knows?

The Impatient Miner and The Loss of His Hulk

hulk [huhlk]
1. the body of an old or dismantled ship.
2. a ship specially built to serve as a storehouse, prison, etc.,and not for sea service.
3. a clumsy-looking or unwieldy ship or boat.
So, there I was, yet again, looking at my directional scanner showing a clear signal of a Hulk and some kind of industrial ship, obviously mining and hauling, in a low security systems asteroid belt. This situation, it is always a weird moment that consist of disbelief followed by blinking ISK signs, ca-ching sounds and lust for pod goo. I fired up my warp drive and got down to business. Except the Hulk pilot did not want to do business and paid the price. The industrial pilot warped off when I landed and now I noticed on d-scan that he had switched to a carrier! Time to grab the loot and get off grid. Not that I wouldn’t like to kill a carrier, but ... alone in my Rifter?

Saftsuze > wow - now thats something to fight in a rifter!
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > u dont want come
Saftsuze > i was offering ransom, but got no response - bad business decision :P
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > not u will see i make war to u now ;)
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > i will pass some time in station ;)
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > u know what .... some time its better leave in peace some guys ....
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > im the suport of this alliance so u will need to paye me 500M witout that i hunter anywhere u are
Saftsuze > i know, i am in peace with myself
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > good ;)
Saftsuze > 500 mill!! I dont have that!
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > i dont care
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > u need to pay that
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > ;)
Saftsuze > are you gonna hunt me then?
Saftsuze > since i cant pay?
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > lool ur juste a little noob now assume what u do
Saftsuze > shit, i really regret killing that hulk now
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > i dont care i will talk to ur CEO and u need to pay that
Saftsuze > no! dont tell my ceo, he will be so angry at my failure!
Saftsuze > and we dont want no war with carrier pilots like yourself
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > do think im alonw with carrier .. lool we are 2 alliance and we work together ... im de Ceo of the PVP division
Saftsuze > holy crap, i seem to have pissed of the wrong people! i need new underwear now...
Ore Hauler & Carrier Pilot > i just send a message of ur CEO so now i wait his anwser ...
Saftsuze > shit

Needless to say, both the CEO and your handsome director of Black Rebel Rifter Club was pleased. And there was much amusement from the Hulks rather curious sensor boosting fit: I WANNA MINE! NOW! GET THAT ROID LOCKED NOW!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Overheated Hotheads [BURNT] on Ice

So, a two month long adventure has ended. All of the two the members of BURNT has joined R1FTA - The Black Rebel Rifter Club.

But before you shout out FAIL! and I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU SO! I would like to state that the creation of Overheated Hotheads has been one of my most successful endeavours in New Eden. We never reached high membership numbers, but the process of defining the philosophy behind the corp has made me much more aware of what makes my life as a capsuleer a good one.

And the biggest win of all: The Overheated Hot Tub - our public channel. It has become a very entertaining pool to dip into, and the small, but active bathing community, are sharing jokes and fittings and intel all while soaking in. And we all smell a lot better than we used to. Come join us, if you feel like it. The Hot Tub will not be put on ice - that would cause shrinkage!

So, The Black Rebel Rifter Club, you say? Yeah, my good in-game friend and mentor, Miura Bull, has decided to run his own corp again. When seeing that he had ideas very close to mine, and were actually encouraging flying solo, I did not hesitate to offer a transfer of members from BURNT to R1FTA. The successful parts of BURNT are all corp independent so it is easy to bring along into the club. And I am honoured to have been granted a director role and looking forward to build the corp with Miura. Exciting times ahead!

And did I mention that we are recruiting? No, I don't think so: Join The Autocannon and have a chat with us!

End note:

Actually, I take my role as a director so seriously that I went ahead and made my first stupid and expensive explosion this very morning. It is an example of good leadership to show the other Rebels not to worry too much about their losses and killboard stats: We are Rebels, not Elite Soldiers!

(Actually, I warped to 0 when what I really wanted to, was warp to 100 and just get a visual of those battlecruisers. I got webbed and scrammed pretty fast and had no chance. The Jaguar curse seem to still be in place: I am not to fly that ship!)

Some new personal rules:
1. I shall not log on very early in the morning
2. If I break rule number one, a Rifter is the most expensive thing I am gonna fly.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

They said: “You can’t fly solo”

Lately, my roaming grounds have been deserted - or blobbed. And I have managed to do, is getting podded and loose a whole lot of Rifters - with no good fights to justify the losses at all. It’s when these kind of periods comes along you start believing the propaganda that says New Eden has no place for the lone hunter. You become impatient and move restlessly with no rhythm or confidence.

Last night I managed to break out of that cycle, as I decided to not skip the dead end low sec pocket I was about to just skip - because I had not seen anything in there the last ten visits or so. So I dropped in, and I got a warm fuzzy welcome in local! Miners chatting merrily about drones!

A bit later, after having dropped off the loot for collection by my fence, I went back to the same system. Miner 1, from my last adventure, was still in system, but now in a Brutix. I was about to call it a day, but I thought that a nice little scare would be a good ending for the day. Nothing boosts morale like scaring a battlecruiser off grid with your flashy red frigate. I found him killing my allies, the Serpentis, at an anomaly. I warped in at 100 km, after all, my plan was just to say BOO!! and make him have to get some new underwear. But he was not scared.

Now, if you read my last log entry, you will see the following statement by this very Brutix pilot:

Miner 1 > I always keep my Hammerhead II just to keep the rats at bay

So you can guess my excitement when I saw a flight of five Hammerhed Is fighting the Serpentis! Time to live up to being the founder of Overheated Hotheads! With the afterburner overheated, and the scram pre-activated and pre-heated I made quick progress towards the target. When I got him locked down, my HUD showed that my allies had shredded his shield, and that he was armor-tanking the Serpentis. His tank was about to be broken.

I guess he quickly understood this was about more than his underwear, and I can imagine him screaming in some corporate communications channel: Forget about new underwear!! Come save my ass!

His help arrived: A corp mate in a Tristan. I was already in the mental state of The Brutix WILL Go Down Even If I Am Gonna Die. YEAH, BABY!

As stated earlier: Scaring big ships makes me feel really confident.

The Brutix exploded, but the newly arrived Tristan quickly made some gaping holes in my armor plates. My guns where already heavily damaged by the overheating, and my only hope was my energy sucking nosferatu and my armor repairer. Structure was becoming, well, a bit unstructured, but the repairer kept giving me that very small buffer again and again.

My guns were already around 80 percent damaged, but they would have to take some more heat as my structure now was critical and the Tristan still had quite a lot of its hull integrity left. My guns glowed in the darkness, spewed out projectiles and the Tristan soon turned into a ball of fire.

I arrived at my safe with 39 percent left of my hull. My guns had 89 percent damage and my nosferatu 94 percent heat damage. My Rifter was SMOKING HOT AND SEXY! LICK MY MOUSTACHE, BABY!

So, you say you can’t fly solo? If you wanna experience this kind of excitement: Join Overheated Hotheads and you will. Dip into The Overheated Hot Tub for a taste of the exciting life as a Hothead!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Chatting About Drones in Local While Mining in Low Sec

Miner 1 > I always keep my Hammerhead II just to keep the rats at bay
Miner 1 > They are expensive but work well against those BS rats
Miner 2 > ya... i really should train my drones
Miner 1 > I can build the drones so I get them wholesale
Miner 2 > lol lucky
Miner 1 > Took forever to get the skills though to make em
Miner 2 > ya i dont think i can build drones yet.....
Miner 1 > You might be able to build the T1s

Yours truly appears on grid 20 km off Miner 1 & 2.

Miner 1 > run
Miner 2 > cant he jamedd me
Miner 1 > Dang
Miner 1 > What is he in?

I was in a Rifter and the Covetor dropped three Modulated Deep Core Strip Miner IIs. And the pod dropped another frozen corpse for the cold storage.

Monday, May 9, 2011

The soloists forms an ensemble and performs a great crescendo

The Tengu had been on d-scan quite a while. Now, Tengus are not exactly my kind of target, so when I am roaming alone in my Rifter, I mentally ignore them on my scanner. But I had a mate in system that has more experience with bigger and more advanced ships than me and he had a hunch that the pilot of this very Tengu was of the more inexperienced kind.

I cursed my Helios-loss a few days back, but thankfully I still had the trusty old Imicus with Combat Probes I in the cargo hold. I scanned him down in a minute or so - I mean, who needs faction probes and a T2 scanning frigate?

My mate jumped into a Hurricane and I swapped to a ship I seldom fly, but often run away from: A Dramiel. My heart was already pumping and the adrenaline level was raising. Our corp’s public channel, The Overheated Hot Tub, was boiling as I got ready to fleet warp us in. Fleet warp didn’t work, or more probable: I did it wrong, a pesky solo pilot as I am. So, I landed alone. 60 km off the Tengu. He must have been in movement at a safe spot when I scanned him down - a good example for all to follow when at safe spots - but that safety measure wouldn’t save him from the insanely fast beast that had arrived on grid. Within few seconds I had him locked and pointed.

Now the temperature in the already Overheated Hot Tub was rising even more. I was screaming for more damage and more pilots to join. Come now! Now! My corp mate was on his way, just stopping to pick up a Myrmidon on the way, but still had many jumps left. My mate in the Hurricane was in warp after my failed fleet warp. But his Hurricane couldn’t stand the damage from the Tengu and had to quickly warp out. He called for another mate with a Tengu himself. But he was quite a lot of jumps away so I was in for a long orbit, constantly watching newcomers in local, while trying to calm down. I was never calm. I kept wasting my ammo on him even though I had no chance to break his tank. But, hey, I’m never cool and calm, I’m a Hothead!

Thankfully my extreme speed kept me out of harm, until a Badger showed up! Yes, a Badger Mark II, probably piloted by the Tengu pilots alter ego. It shot my drones and actually managed to get a few hits on me as well and worst of all: some e-war stuff made me loose my lock on the Tengu for 10 seconds or so! But I was fast back at him.

The gang was four jumps out now, and I really concentrated on keeping lock and point. And to make a long story short: The Myrmidon and the other Tengu we brought in, made the poor Tengu die faster than a mining Navitas in low security space.

I failed at getting the pod because my hands were shaking and I deactivated the preheating of the warp scrambler, so even though I managed to lock the pod, I didn’t get the scram on him before he warped off. But I had just destroyed 500 millons of ISK. What a rush! The first gang kill by Overheated Hotheads (with associated friends) sure was a bit bigger than I expected!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Up like a Rifter, down like a Drake

So, finally it happened. I found a Drake I thought I would be able to take down with my Rifter. However, it sat on a gate and I needed to provoke it to attack my flashing red Rifter. Just as I was warming up in the local communications channel, a pirate competitor showed up in another Drake clearly on a mission to take on the gate-hugging Drake. I sighed and thought it was lost.

However, EVE pulled one of it’s quick turnarounds of luck and I noticed on the directional scanner that my targeted Drake had escaped and warped to a belt. The Pirate Drake was still out of range on 360 degrees d-scan with max range. I warped in. There he was, shooting the local NPC-pirates 100 km off the belt. Overheating the afterburner and dodging the rocks, I was making quick progress towards it. And it seemed he was either not aligned, not paying attention or just very confident that a lowly Rifter would only make a dent in the shields! Overheating the scram, I got him locked and pointed and I started pounding his shields with Republic Fleet EMP.

Damn! There’s that Pirate Drake on d-scan again. I’m overheating the guns to see how far I can get. My competitor lands on grid. 100 km away! Yay! Many thanks to the Caldari engineers that made the Drake so very very slow. The pirate crawls his way towards me, and I needed to cool down my guns again. The Drake really is slow, so I get to keep on pounding my target and after a while my pirate competitor gives up the slow approach and warps out. Or is he trying to get a better warp in point? Time to overheat again! The tank breaks and suffering starts. I invite my target to Saftsuzes ISK Transfer Service, but no luck on ransom - and there’s that pirate on grid again! 30 km off this time. Time to finish of and get away. And so I did! And there was much rejoicing.

I bragged about it all day, and then, a little later, I undocked in my bling-fitted Helios to scan down a mission runner, got pointed and melted in seconds, just outside a station, by some pesky +5 security status law abiding citizen. So... That's the life of an Overheated Hothead.