The Moustache is Back

Well, I've had a long break due to some worn out hardware in my camera drones. Now they have been replaced with shiny new ones and New Eden is as magnificent as ever!

What is more beautiful than a dead miner?

And I’ve already served several happy customers, so the demand for pirate scumbags like yours truly seems as high as ever.

One honorable mention goes to this Enyo pilot who was rather flabbergasted by the impossible fight he met when he chose to lock horns with my Kestrel:

Thank you for the honourable combat
From: Boloskarl Hekard
Sent: 2013.11.28 16:33
To: Saftsuze 

Sir/Ma'am, 

Per our recent engagement, I cannot help but express my impressions of the encounter that we shared. I have no choice but to tip my hat in admiration at your flying prowess. I was certain that if I could get in range I would destroy you, but you proved otherwise with your range control and rockets.  

I commend you and congratulate you on the latest victory (albeit, at my expense).
Until our next encounter, 

V/R,
Boloskarl Hekard

And my reply:

Re: Thank you for the honourable combat
From: Saftsuze
Sent: 2013.11.28 18:03
To: Boloskarl Hekard 

Dear sir, 

Thank you very much for your honorable response to our encounter. I am deeply sorry for the lack of a good fight greeting in the local communications channel. I have just recently returned to the space lanes after a forced break due to some old hardware in my camera drones. Thus, being rusty, my hands were shaking too much from the threat of the watching Taranis (sick dude!) and the whole situation, that I did not manage to type in the correct commands before your capsule exploded. I was about to write such an evemail as this myself, but got interrupted be communication from my home planet. So, I was very pleased to find this in my inbox as I returned to my quarters. I will now regard you as an honorable space combatant whenever I should happen to see you around. 

If I may be so bold to point out an area of improvement for your Enyo, I would suggest bringing a long range ammunition such as Null S for situations like this. 

As we say in Black Rebel Rifter Club when our Rifters crash and burn: "At least I had Barrage in my hold". 

o7 Saftsuze

Yes, there was actually a Taranis pilot watching us from 137 km. That warped off and left system. Sick!

Well. I am back. And I will be back with more log entries.

Shooting For The Moon

My Taranis disappeared from the system with a flash. But wait! What was that appearing on my last second 360 degree scan report? An unnamed Vexor class cruiser? What was it doing out here in this part of the system? No asteroid belts around. Probably running a mission for one of those unfriendly agents that finds pleasure in sending fresh recruits into low security space to harden them up.

On the other side of the gate I went looking for another unnamed space vessel that appeared on my scanner. However, that Vexor was still hovering in the back of my consciousness. I had a hunch he was not on a mission.

I turned around and jumped again, adjusted my head and hit scan as soon as I was able to sort out what was what in my ship’s system interface. There it was again, this mysterious cruiser in this empty corner of the solar system. I ordered my ship's core scanner to report any cosmic anomalies, but the result was just more emptiness. I did a 360 degrees directional scan to look for any starbases, but nothing. I looked for wrecks, but there was none.

Was the Vexor a ghost ship? Had it been boarded by Sansha’s Nation? Was I witness to the beginning of a Sleeper invasion from the wormholes? What the hell was going on here?

I started a manual directional scan for the purpose of narrowing down the ghost ship. Since there was really nothing special in this part of space, except a planet and the already mentioned gate, I ordered the scanner to accept all results. Maybe I could get a clue to why this ship was floating around in empty space.

I twinned the tip of my moustache – in my mind, of course, since I was soaked in that awful pod goo – and smiled as I narrowed down the Vexor. A moon! I entered warp as I asked myself: What are you doing at a moon, Mr. Magical Mystery Cruiser?

The warp bubble collapsed and my overview grid loaded. The cruiser was 300 km away, keeping a steady course straight into emptiness at 200+ meters per second. A ghost ship. The pilot must have lost consciousness. Or maybe hot-wired himself into a holoreel? Oh, why bother with probable causes – I have a job to do! The Vexor must be turned into space junk!

Then, suddenly, when my Taranis got within 100 km off the Vexor, my Federation Navy Speech-To-Text-O-Matic Communication Transponder Mk. III made a silly noise (my customized notification sound) and spit out a sentence from the pilot of the Vexor:

Joachim Chelien > You waznt something?

An unnamed Vexor in the hands of a fresh recruit. I would be lying if I said I wanted a ransom. I lied:

Saftsuze > i waznt ISK!

There was no sign of a blinking wallet on my NeoCom. I was still out of range and that general statement about wanting ISK was merely a tactic of making myself not so scary. I’ve been known to look quite scary in a certain angle and a full moon light. He made no attempt to escape, just kept a steady course towards the emptiness. Oh yes, I would be happy to give him the experience of total emptiness!

80 km later: Locked, scrammed and three smoking barrels!

Joachim Chelien > I cant hit you

Three Ogre I in orbit. I laughed in their general direction.

Joachim Chelien > Maybe just now

The one hit he got. A pinch of red on my shields display.

Saftsuze > you can hit me with ISK!

Still no blinking wallet.

Joachim Chelien > Bye

I guess he realized it was time to meet the emptiness.

Saftsuze > bye *

* Must. Remember. To. Ransom. Pod.