Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Delicious Pod Goo Shake

Blog Banter 51: From Druur Monakh (Twitter: @DruurMonakh) we get the topic of this banter: what was your most nail-biting experience in EVE Online so far? It could be PvP in a 1v1 or 1000v1000, your first fight or your latest one, a scam so close to being uncovered too soon, a trap almost sprung on an unsuspecting victim or the roles reversed and you desperately try to escape.

  • 1 frigate sized ship of your preference
  • 1 battlecruiser sized asteroid belt cleaner with large drone bay
  • 1 low security space solar system with a pinch of traffic going through
  • 20 or more light scout drones, Tech II versions
  • A solid dash of the local pirate population of your region

Make sure you don't wet
yourself when making
the Pod Goo Shake.
A little sweat is fine,
 but nobody wants
a yellow shake.
  1. Engage the battlecruiser in a belt with your little frigate. For the most excitement, this should be a standard, non-faction T1 frigate within a reasonable price when it comes to fittings. Faction frigates and T2 frigates will also work, but the shakes from these are a little less satisfying.
  2. The perfect condition for the best shakes is in a solar system with just the right amount of traffic going through. It is when the fear of interruption blends with the micromanagement of your modules and directional scanner, you get the optimum aroma developing in your shake.
  3. Belt cleaners tend to fit their ships with low quality raw materials, but a big drone bay will make up for the bad tracking of their T1 guns. If you happen to find a Myrmidon with more than 20 Hobgoblin IIs, then you will get a shake sweeter than Sugar Kyle. The challenge of beating wave after wave of drones makes your clone release adrenaline into your pod goo for a longer time than in a frigate vs. frigate fight and thus makes the shake taste so much better. Especially the aftertaste.
  4. As a topping you may add a few Serpentis ships that will force you to consider your targets: The battlecruiser itself, the drones or the Serpentis? This will make your palms sweaty and thus inject a little salty touch to the goo in your pod.
  5. When all ingredients have been blended into a beautiful huge explosion, dock your ship and eject your capsule into the hangar. Your pod will now be filled with a very tasty goo-shake. The physical shakes of your clone have blended the adrenaline, sweat and pod goo into a mixture best served at body temperature. But, if you prefer and if you managed to grab a frozen corpse, you might use this as an ice cube.

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