Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Anno Dominix

A while back, I received a message from my associate that I had sent on a scouting mission to a low populated low sec pocket.

“Dominix piloted by a fresh student registered at the EVE University. He seems to be running a mission against the local Serpentis population. Permission to launch probes?"

"Of course you launch probes! I didn't tell you to spend all that time on those astrometric skills for probing down grav sites!"

My associate now had a lot better skills for probing than me. And also better equipment. The Dominix was pinpointed in deep space within two scan cycles - approximately 15 seconds. There was a very good chance this inexperienced battleship pilot had not noticed the probes. I was two jumps out in a Firetail. I would probably need backup. I should be able to keep my ship alive, but breaking his tank might be a challenge.

My cloaked associate sent me into warp from the stargate. I preheated my scrambler and afterburner and readied my overview for fighting drones. I landed 90 km off my target and started burning. 70 km. 50 km. 30. 20. 17 km. Activate targeting system. 14. Target locked and scrammed. I turn down the heat, settle for a tight orbit, activate tracking disruption and start working on the drones with my webifier and guns.

"Dominix tackled. I need help with the tank." The drones didn't hurt me, but tank was not breaking under my meager damage output.

However, there was no response in our corporate communication channels. Everybody was probably busy rebelling against something.

"Anyone?"

My fellow Hothead and later R1FTA-pilot, Tomba, had just plugged in his clone to the channel. "What? Where?"

A few minutes later he was warping in on us in a Thrasher-class destroyer. I was already negotiating terms for a possible ransom, but the battleship pilot was stalling and asking for more time to get the requested 150 million ISK transferred from his brother. Standard procedure would be to kill him as fast as possible because he could be stalling for the sole reason to get his backup rallied. But I accepted the delay for two reasons: First, if he came up with 150 millions in ransom, that would be a new record for me. Second, a newly recruited rebel was also on his way in an Incursus-class frigate, and if my customer failed to show me the money, what better way to welcome a new member than giving his blasters some action?

Sadly for the university student, he could not show me the ISK in time when I offered him the final deadline of 30 seconds. But while we waited, our fresh recruit had arrived the scene and he had brought camera drones with a recording script loaded in his control unit! You can watch the pretty explosion here [Disclaimer: Music might be considered offensive and NSFW].

The fresh rebel prospect sure didn’t apply a lot of damage, but it is the first time I have had such a catch recorded. And the fittings show that my 150 million demand was a quite reasonable one.



Sunday, May 27, 2012

All Your Battlecruisers Are Belong To Us

One of my favourite targets when flying frigates, is the battlecruiser class hulls. There are all kinds of tactical challenges to consider when engaging such a beast. And the piloting requires the utmost attention as you will often find yourself attacked by energy neutralizers, hordes of drones or the consistent damage from an extremely well tanked missile boat.

Here are five logged encounters with different battlecruisers:

Hurry up, Hurricane
On a rather boring routine patrol to a dead end system I came across something unusual for this particular system: A Hurricane class vessel was clearing the belts of their local residents. My Firetail managed to eradicate his drones after some very good drone management by the battlecruiser. But when turning my turrets against the hull itself, I met a repair system capable keeping up with my autocannons. So it was a stalemate. Thankfully I had fellow rebels nearby to help finish the job. But what happens? When my helping hands arrive, the battlecruiser’s commanding capsuleer ejects and abandons his crew! After some minor autocannon negotiations with the local belt inhabitants, I park my Firetail in space and eject my own capsule. The crew of the battlecruiser was very happy to pledge allegiance to yours truly, as they had totally lost faith in their former command. Understandable. The Hurricane is now reconfigured for more dirty work and it will be flown as a stolen ship. I guess the crew one day will realize their bad luck, because this hull is destined for death and destruction.

Even You, Brutix?
It seems that capsuleers in dead end systems like to cruise around in battlecruisers looking for battle with local belt inhabitants. This was another case of such behavior. This one, however, thought he was safe as he had chosen an anomaly rather than a belt. The capsuleer quickly contacted me through the local communications channel when I landed my scrambler on his big spaceship: “How did you find me so qickly?!” I explained that this is usual procedures in my line of work while I worked my way through his armor. He also made me an offer I definitely could refuse, before he proceeded to eject from his ship to save his capsule. So far, my quite good battlecruiser skills have been used mostly to board and dock battlecruisers that have been left for me in space.

A Sugar Cane
Oh, this was a sweet one. The pilot looked decent enough, but I was feeling sexy and wanted to test my firetail under medium neutralizers. I sure did get one hell of a test. The complexities of managing capacitor, scrambler, webifier, repair system and and killing drones that get launched and withdrawn all the time - well, that is a very intense experience! But once the drones were gone, the tracking disruptor did an excellent job of keeping my Firetail safe from the medium sized guns. However, it was a decent chance that it would get away if my capacitor was bleeding too much under his neutralizers. It was a game of capacitor management. My nosferatu and I, we won it. Then a few minutes later I tried again on another Hurricane-pilot and lost.

Hurricane Downgraded to Light Breeze
There is something about battlecruisers. They seem to be the most tempting ship for freshly graduated capsuleers. Battle. Cruisers. They sure sound scary. But, when flying a big ship, you need certain skills to do so effectively. And that is an important factor to evaluate when choosing battlecruisers for targets. This pilot stood out as an obvious target – and sure enough, it hardly fought back. Oh, it tried, but couldn’t land a solid hit. So I took it down with ease. In my Rifter. That is a lesson I have given many green pilots. An expensive lesson, but it should be good value for their ISK lost.

To Drake Even
The Drake. It is a beast for a single frigate. You seldom find your capacitor neutralized, but there are two major problems: It will do damage to you. And it has a tank that needs some serious damage – and time – to break. So there is no doubt you’re gonna need an active tank to hold out for a while and decent damage dealing capabilities. The tracking disruptor installed on Firetail-class frigate did not become very useful in this fight (allthough engineers and scientists are apparently working on making it useful against missiles as well). The nosferatu and the armour repairer, however, did their job: Buy time. And after the drones was taken care of, the Drakes shields very slowly withered away. My pulsed repairer managed to keep up with the damage from the heavy missiles. And the nosferatu kept feeding my capacitor with just enough energy for my scrambler the pulsed repair system. Once the Drake’s structure began to crumble, the commanding capsuleer agreed on paying me 66 millions in ISK to avoid a rather embarresing loss. I decided that was a good enough offer and let the burning beast warp away.

Two kills. Two free ships. One ransom. This is why I love battlecruisers.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Zen And The Art Of Spaceship Maintenance

This log entry should in no way be associated with that great body of factual information relating to orthodox Zen Buddhist practice. It's not very factual on spaceships, either. 1)

How do you define quality? Is it merely the temperature of the fluids that surrounds your clone? The level of comfort of your captain’s quarter’s sofa? Or is it your extensive knowledge of the inner workings of your spaceships, turrets and launchers? Might it be the taste of tears from those you aim those very weapons against? Or is it the tranquility of space as you float cloaked through the scenic solar systems in your expensive strategic cruiser?

I have struggled with this. I have always wanted to be good at what I do. But what is good when it comes to shooting other spaceships? Some strive towards ISK efficiency. Others are obsessed about their kill/loss ratio. Some pilots strive for profit in their adventures - and actually manage to pull it off. Certain capsuleers even spend time making graphs on different ammunition's damage output in regards to range and tracking and all that technical stuff. Somehow they even manage to translate that into actual piloting! Others don't like to actually fly their spaceships, but enjoy parking them at a gate, all geared up with sensor boosters, friendly backup and a network of scouts giving early warnings on anything scary.

Myself, I am trying to find a balance. A balance between the technical side of piloting and fitting your ship and the non-technical awareness of threats and opportunities and knowing your spaceship’s capabilities based on experience and feeling. A balance between worrying about statistics and ISK-loss and flying reckless for the greatest adrenaline kick and most spectacular explosions. A balance between good fights, adventure, easy kills and loot.

I am not the greatest when it comes to kill/death ratio or ISK efficiancy or pure number of kills. I don't make the most spectacular kills, and I am not always looking for the honourable good fight. Give me a mining Navitas and I will happily engage! But when I manage to find my balance between all those things, then I am the best pilot in all New Eden. When my hull is burning from a very close encounter, my death to kill ratio is on the positive side, I’ve ransomed a miner and I’ve given a hard lesson to a fresh pilot, then I am the most sexy moustached space bandit that ever terrorized New Eden.

Because it is the balance, my friend, that defines quality.

Have you found your intergalactic moment of Zen?

Intergalactic moment of Zen.
1) Blatant theft from the intro of the ancient terran classic novel “Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintenance” by Robert M. Pirsig. Oh, did I mention that the title of this log entry also... Oh, you got that? OK. Here is a terran short abstract of the novel. It is a good read, and should be read by many.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Lost In Translation

I am working on some new log entries, but today I just wanted to share this little conversation that took place in my ransom channel after I caught Mr. Arthie sleeping in a Velator in orbit around a planet. I stripped him off his Velator and asked kindly for a donation to keep his pod alive and healthy.

Saftsuze > Hello, Mr. Arthie
Saftsuze > Would you like to pay for keeping your pod alive?
slava Arthie > я не понимаю
Saftsuze > You want to be podded, you say?
slava Arthie > чево хочеш
Saftsuze > Ahh, "shoot me in the face"
Saftsuze > OK, will do.
slava Arthie > придурок
Saftsuze > Never mind, it's my job. But thanks!
slava Arthie > пошол ты нахрен
Saftsuze > Well, that is not standard procedure, but I am sure it could be arranged,
slava Arthie > иди нахуй
Saftsuze > Oh, you naughty boy!
slava Arthie > вали уже отсюда нахер достал

Monday, March 26, 2012

Recommended Scripts for Ancient Terran NeoCom Pocket Device

I have for a long time been using an excellent script called EVE Universe for my treasured Terran Apple iPhone Mark IV. This script is just getting better and better. The fitting tool makes long shuttle trips exciting and I get reports on wallet transactions and skill training and anything else I need to know from my associates. I can check my inbox and I can make basic skill plans. And a lot more.

If you have stumbled upon one of those Terran Apple Devices on your space travels, I highly recommend this script. And should you happen to install it, you should pay some Terran Currency to the maker for an ad free experience and then donate some more. Because he is doing an excellent job on constantly updating the script as New Eden scientists develop new modules, redesign ship blueprints and change fitting requirements.

The script called EVE Universe that I have installed on my Terran Apple iPhone Mark IV

Another script I have found myself using more and more, is the EVE Trader. Use this script for associates that are trading and you will not have to do any accounting to track your profitability as it gives you detailed reports. However, if you are using your trader as a shopping assistant for your personal hanger, then the reports will get messed up by items being contracted to yourself, as they will stay logged in the reports as bought, but never sold. So this script works best for your dedicated trading associates that transfers profit to you or a shopping assistant every now and then.

I recently got very inspired by Kirith Darkblades non-trained station trader and recruited one for my third licence in my main Capsuleers Agreement. I gave him 30 million ISK, but no time allocated for training, and after a busy week he was worth more than 60 millions. Having only 5 market orders in total makes it a more interesting and a much more mangable challenge. I like it!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Who you gonna call? THE TUSKERS!

“Apocalypse Navy Issue tackled in Jovainnon Solar System.”

The message to The Tuskers is brief and to the point. Not mentioning my current state of bliss and uncontrollable endorphins. I try my best to act like a cool, cold-blooded killer. Not just some overheated hothead riding rusty Rifters.

Let’s backtrack a little. Two minutes earlier I arrived Jovainnon in my - big surprise - Rifter. It was one of those strange moments when nothing seems to make sense. I had an Apocalypse Navy Issue on my directional scanner. And only two pilots in the local communications channel - except yours truly.

An Apocalypse Navy Issue. In Jovainnon. The single system between Aeschee, home of big scary ships, and Hevrice, home of the notorious and always actively hunting Tuskers. This is not a system you want to bring your most expensive ships without any support. So, I figure, this must be some kind of intricate trap beyond my comprehension. And, usually when I find a single battleship in a low security system, it is on a mission from some dodgy agent. And then I will need to get probes. But, I do what I always do when I find something: I pinpoint it's location with the directional scanner.

It is in a belt. A solo Navy Issue battleship floating all alone in an asteroid belt!

This is where my brain kicks in and starts working. Against me. A Navy Issue Battleship working for CONCORD’s meagre bounties for the local Serpentis? This can’t be true. I smell a rat. I stall. I don’t warp in. Then slowly, my brain starts to work with me. I am next to The Tuskers home. A group of pirates I have locked horns with on many occasions, but also have called in for backup whenever a target of opportunity has appeared. They are bad news, but they can be trusted. I make my communication channel with The Tuskers ready for input, and hurl my Rifter towards the belt. Apocalypse! Now!

There it is. This giant construction, most certainly made by Matari slaves, stationed between the rocks doing CONCORD’s dirty work. I overheat my afterburner and warp scrambler and the blood-rush is like nothing else I’ve felt for a long time.

This is when The Tuskers are informed about the trapped battleship. They respond at once. Within a few seconds, and after a few downed Hobgoblins, I receive an official invite to a Tuskers fleet. I accept and the fleet jumps into system and it all happens so fast that for a moment, that I panic and think I’m in a pod. The damage on my shields has suddenly disappeared from my HUD! And that, for me, usually means my ship has been stripped off my capsule. Well. Not this time. This time, it was actually my first experience of being remotely repaired by a logistics ship. You see... I fly solo.

Then the Tuskers scary looking front-man and public “face”, Suleiman Shouaa, asks me if I want to ransom or kill. They sure live up to their reputation as pirates of honor: They have all the power to do whatever they want with me and the Battleship-pilot, but still they want me to make the decision. I go for the kill. The pod, however, decides to turn down the offered ransom, and in retrospect the demand was a bit too high. But, hey, this guy looked like he had lots of kredits to burn since he was cleaning low sec belts in a Navy Issue. So, the offered ransom was not out of the blue.

The Tuskers public face. Suleiman Shouaa.

Then, a very polite Suleiman Shouaa hauls the loot to the nearest station and contracts me all of it. What a bunch of clean and polite pirates!

So, there you have it. If you ever happen to stumble upon The Tuskers: Treat them with the respect they deserve and you shall be rewarded. This applies whether you are one of their unlucky customers, a fellow pirate of honor or a roaming scumbag scavenger like myself.

I wish the fleet good luck and warp to a safe to cool down and analyze my current situation. This month is turning out to be one of my most ISK efficient months ever. It started with a very big explosion when some fellow pirates of the Molden Heath loop had caught a Thanatos and invited everyone to participate in killing it. I was next door in a bomber and  managed to jump in and get a few volleys of torpedos into its burning hull. Then Alex “Jaguar God” Medvedov caught a Sleipnir but needed more damage to break its tank. I suicided a Rupture against it’s shields and armour and that made the difference and the loot value replaced my ship. And then I found the already mentioned Apocalypse Navy Issue. Add a few assault frigates and a battleship or two to the kill list, and you will understand I am having good times!

My associates are doing a good job with all kinds of endeavours, and even though I am loosing too many ships at the moment, the ISK situation is better than it has ever been before. So maybe it is time to order a stack of Jaguars?

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Propaganda

Alekseyev wears the same jacket as me. He got my vote - despite that clean shaven upper lip.
A short log entry. I do not write about politics on this log. But today I docked in a station somewhere in Molden Heath and did what every capsuleer concerned with shooting down other capsuleers should do: I voted for Alekseyev Karrde for CSM7.

Go vote. Then undock.