Sneaking Pirate, Hidden Moustache

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
The mind is everything.
What we think we become.

a terran thinker called Buddha

It is something I have tried to do a lot of times. But my patience was never there. The adrenaline junkie always craving action. Always warping to the next possible kill. Always roaming. Constant movement.

Now I am still. I am quiet. I am contemplating and observing. I am learning. I am chasing while sitting still, I am moving without effort.

Among Sleepers I shall be the awaken one.

The Criminal Comeback Timer

The last post I wrote before I unplugged from my pod for an extended planetary vacation was about patience. I feel it is a very relevant read as I am now returning to the New Eden space lanes.

I am trying to take it slow. Not to burn the candle in both ends - or dual prop as we capsuleers call it. I spend more time ordering my associates around. Making an effort to get a feel for all the aspects of capsuleer life. I have also moved all my associates into low security space. My uncle Earl is busy shutting down his shop in Aeschee and my more clandestine industrial organisation started the low sec move over a year ago. Inspired by my CSM representative, Sugar Kyle, I have embraced the low sec lifestyle for all my pilots. But all in slow motion. There is no rush.

I have liquefied my assets and I am in the process of training up for more jump clones. A big shout out to Suleiman Shouaa's jump clone service in Hevrice. A great place to reinvent yourself when flashing red without any standings to speak of. The plan now, is to operate from one location and only buy a few ships and fittings every time the hangar is empty.  New Eden is changing faster than ever and almost 90 percent of my ships was utterly useless when I came back. Hence the liquefying process.

There are interesting events in low security space as well. With the very profitable Mordus Legion lurking combined with the security tag carrying clone ships, there should be more bounty hunters scouring the belts. I know I will spend more time in belts. And one of my associates have already lost a ship to the Legion. Fascinating. I almost got the shakes from that experience. With a belt rat!

Some colleagues have also reported that the militia pilots have hardened up and swapped the warp core stabs with damage upgrades. And it seems so, as I have had a few good fights in factional warfare space as well the last few months. Although, I still prefer the untainted free-of-politics-low-sec-space.I feel there is more potential for adventure there. Like finding a stranded whale. Or kill Santha! Hunt down a battle sheep. Make a shake. Have some sexytime.

Well. Finding adventure takes time. Be patient and there might come a new tale from the travelling moustache wax salesman.

How To Become A Pirate: Patience.

A gentleman contacted me from the other side of the universe. I accepted the call and what follows is a slightly edited version of our talk. Some content has been taken out, some polishing has been done on spelling and structure, but it should not have affected the content.

Sal Corleone > Greetings!
Saftsuze > What may I help you with? Facial hair growth treatment?
Sal Corleone > I had a conversation with you yesterday through my associate.
Saftsuze > Ah! It’s you!
Sal Corleone > I downloaded and read a copy of your log “The Criminal Countdown Lounge”
Saftsuze > I am glad to hear that. Did you find entertainment?
Sal Corleone > You have converted me! I have decided to become a pirate - a well groomed and attired one at that.
Saftsuze > Sir, I am very happy to hear that!
Sal Corleone > I may ask you for advice on pirating once in a while, if you would be so kind with assistance?
Saftsuze > No problem! My first advice: You will lose a lot of ships.
Sal Corleone > I’m going to build my first pirate ship now. An Incursus-class frigate.
Saftsuze > Excellent choice. I have more than 400 losses now. 250 of them is probably from my first 3-6 months as a pirate. And the 100 first are probably that very same class of frigates: Incursus.
Sal Corleone > Losing ships won’t bother me. I have a rich benefactor.
Saftsuze > Excellent. So do I. Well, not very rich, but he keeps me in frigates. My uncle Earl runs a shop called Guns & Banjos in Aeschee - go visit him should you ever need anything while in low sec.
Sal Corleone > I think I have enough to support my losses for a while.
Saftsuze > Excellent. Isk is one thing. Another is pride and self confidence. You will lose quite a lot of them as well, so keep them stocked as well. And patience. Did I mention patience? I run out of it all the time. Number one killer of my ships.

[break]

Sal Corleone > I won’t bug you anymore tonight, but thanks for talking.
Saftsuze > No worries, mate. Any time. Join 'The Autocannon' as well. One of the most important assets for a solo pirate is to have other solo pirate friends. But if you get over the psychological and financial obstacles - being a solo pirate is the best life you can choose in this universe. I would highly recommend joining a solo pirate corp like Black Dragon Fighting Society - and later earn yourself a black jacket from the Black Rebel Rifter Club.

And with some pleasantries the conversation ended. I am looking forward to hear from him a few months from now. I’m sure he will have ships enough. But patience? And self confidence? My spirit has been overheated and burnt out many times.

Making A Name For Myself

The Moustache Mystery Man

A questionable scumbag with the name of Rixx Javix has included me in his Pirate Trading Card collection. I must admit I feel more honored than I had thought I would. To be honest I did not believe I would make it into the collection. I sure was hoping. I have to admit that, even though I tend to look to Rixx more for popcorn-friendly drama than honorable recognition. But he sure is one hell of a contributor to the general capsuleer population and I am one big sucker for compliments and recognition. 

And Rixx really deserves recognition for his work. Relentless provider of content. Both for planetside and in-capsule consumption.

So. I would love nothing more than to give Rixx Javix a well deserved armortherapy and some deep structure peeling. Free of charge with love from Upper Lip Finesse. I'll probably end up with a sore clone, though.

And my name? It sure is a mystery.

Very Important Customer

I had been chasing a pair of sexy lips for a while, but they were slipping away all the time. Then suddenly they changed their mind and embraced my hard Kestrel of love. Instant karma.

Now, in this intense moment of intimacy, a whole fleet comes bursting through the gates of Onne. They are old corp mates of mine:

sexylips2012 Gaterau > gf
Brink Albosa >Saftsuze o/
Saftsuze > gf
Merk Stainz >Saftsuze o/
Lucas Padecain >Saftsuze o/
Saftsuze > o7 riftas
sexylips2012 Gaterau > Hahaha you called all them for me
Saftsuze > heh, yeah
sexylips2012 Gaterau > noob bye any wAYS
Saftsuze > she mad

Some customers really think highly of themselves.

Life In The Upper Lip League

So, there has been some trouble lately, in my favorite holoreel reality show: “Real Life”. The main character got a rather serious illness and there was a lot going on in his life in general as well. So I've been glued to the holoreeler for a few months and not plugged my clone to a capsule for a long time. So Upper Lip Finesse got a rough start. Or rather not a start at all. But, it seems most of the drama in “Real Life” is over for now, the main character is alive and well and I finally have more time to spend in space!

So, with more time to spend, why not spend some more ISK as well? A lot of fun for a lot of ISK. That’s how we play it here in Upper Lip Finesse. It’s a hedonist lifestyle with focus on beauty and pleasure and magnificent explosions. There is nothing like a close shave with a blingy blade!

Upper Lip Finesse

An era is over. I have left my beloved Black Rebel Rifter Club and all the R1DERs. There is no dramatic rage or intrigues involved in this, it is rather a result of a slow enlightenment process and a lot of looks in the mirror. Who am I? The Rebels have shaped me into what I am: The most handsome scumbag New Eden has ever seen. 

And a loner to the bone. Even when I could join fleets in R1DER I often chose not to. But now I cannot even turn them down, because of the new schedule and timezone of my favorite holoreel show “Real Life”. So I came to realize that I had little reason to stay in R1FTA. My friends in R1FTA is in all my public communication channels anyway.

It was time put my perfectly haired clone into some good use. To give back to the community in low security space. To help their clones to achieve the same level of sexiness as yours truly. I had to do it. Open up my own beauty shop. So, welcome to:

Upper Lip Finesse [WAX3D]

Beauty Parlor for the Low Sec Gentleman.

Special services:

• Shield and deep structure peeling.
• Laser removal of unwanted hairy fittings.
• Armortherapy.
• Express tanning at zero at the sun.
• Pedicure for nail biting frigate pilots.

Free Moustache Waxing and Trimming for every appointment. We recommend using Saftsuze’s Special Nanite Wax™ with Energized Pro Nano-Vitamins Formula® for extra shine and volume.

Hope to see you around!