Tuesday, November 25, 2014

The Men Who Stare at Boats

The Upper Lip Finesse new elite group of New Age Warriors has been formed. They, well, I, spend an enormous amount of time just meditating in deep wormhole space. I am trying to focus all the energy in the universe to create that perfect moment in space and time where a stealth bomber gets to uncloak and launch it’s torpedoes at a viable target. In order to do this, a lot of time has to be spent levitating above enemy starbases staring at other space ships. Sometimes I feel they can feel me being there.

My mental powers trying to slip through the POS shields.
And this transcendental strategy is paying off. The first wreckages from mental and torpedo power have already (well, “already” is of course a relative term in transcendental practice) been achieved. Although I have yet to make the enemy explode from my thoughts alone, I am certain I will reach that point one day. Because, as I said, I feel that they can feel me staring at them. And when you feel something strong enough it will start to hurt.

Today Upper Lip Finesse awarded me the Bad Boy Space Buddha medal for excellence in the New Age Warrior service: “Awarded for extensive period of cloaked meditation in deep transcendental wormhole space resulting in glorious and explosive enlightenment of other ship.”

OK, I admit it, I took some time off from the meditation to create a medal. 

Hm. Maybe I’ll make another one as well? Then get back to meditation? 

Yeah, just one more.

Space Buddha out.

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