Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Lost In Translation

I am working on some new log entries, but today I just wanted to share this little conversation that took place in my ransom channel after I caught Mr. Arthie sleeping in a Velator in orbit around a planet. I stripped him off his Velator and asked kindly for a donation to keep his pod alive and healthy.

Saftsuze > Hello, Mr. Arthie
Saftsuze > Would you like to pay for keeping your pod alive?
slava Arthie > я не понимаю
Saftsuze > You want to be podded, you say?
slava Arthie > чево хочеш
Saftsuze > Ahh, "shoot me in the face"
Saftsuze > OK, will do.
slava Arthie > придурок
Saftsuze > Never mind, it's my job. But thanks!
slava Arthie > пошол ты нахрен
Saftsuze > Well, that is not standard procedure, but I am sure it could be arranged,
slava Arthie > иди нахуй
Saftsuze > Oh, you naughty boy!
slava Arthie > вали уже отсюда нахер достал


  1. Dear Mustache Superman,

    As mentioned on Twii ... Twee ... the 140 character frustration machine, I took the liberty of preparing an education lesson in formal Russian greetings, intermediate conversation, and properly saying goodbye to a fellow countryman. Our in your scenario, comrade to tourist.

    When faced with western language, the common Communist is often taken by surprise and forces greeting as well as rejection into 3 Russian words.

    я не понимаю = I do not understand

    Also it literally translates into the international "I'm Russian!" to clear any questions and hopes off the table right from the start.

    Along the conversation, still not convinced that your Latin alphabet is superior to his Cyrillic alphabet, he calmly asks the question burning on his mind but still refraining from using emphasis by punctuation, to let you know he's calm, in turn keeping you calm, and not let things get out of hand.

    чего хочешь = what you want

    In the next step we experience classical miscommunication. Your attempts of finding a common ground by talking fail, and his feeble attempts of getting a meaningful conversation going simply end in him losing his restraint of good language and, astoundingly, still no punctuation.

    придурок = moron

    From here on out, things go into a downward spiral.

    пошел ты нахрен = fuck you fuck

    All the way down.

    иди нахуй = go fuck

    Ending in something that can only be construed as a failure by the all translating fish in my ear.
    This concludes our lesson and the last part, how to say goodbye in distress.
    Either that or you just missed his good friend Wali (Wall-E??) who just pulled out of here and left him there to die.

    вали уже отсюда нахер достал
    Wali had already pulled out of here fuck

    CCCP Russian English Community Manager Prof Panthe Tek

    1. To be exact, the last statement reads "Get the fuck out of here already, I'm sick of you".